Nettling With Dock

Uritica dioica
Cn: Stinging Nettle
Rumex crispus
Cn: Curly Dock, Sour Dock, Yellow Dock

While I've gotten stung by Uritica dioica plenty of times, I'd never eaten it before yesterday. When chatting about weeds with some friends, we all decided the painful plant would a good choice for dinner. Liviu claimed he indulged in cream of stinging nettle soup growing up in Romania, and Alexis has a new stinging nettle fondness stemming from her recent farming internship at Spannocchia in Italy (http://www.spannocchia.org/internships/)--where, apparently in addition to creating elaborate artisanal dishes like stinging nettle ravioli, she stuck the plant down her friends' pants. How nice.

In any event, after deciding on Uritica dioica, however, I couldn't find it anywhere, and was embarrassed to realize most of it had already gone to seed. Eventually, I found a few small plants among moist soil in my backyard. Apparently stinging nettle is indicative of fertile soil, especially soils high in phosphorus.

Stinging nettle is a perennial plant native to Europe, Asia, Northern Africa and North America. It's used all over the world medicinally and for cooking. With a taste like spinach and loaded with things good for you, such as calcium, magnesium, iron, potassium, phosphorus, manganese, silica, iodine, silicon, sodium, sulfur, vitamin C, beta-carotene, B complex vitamins and lots of protein, I was excited to harvest it. But remember to wear gloves until it is blanched and the stingers deactivated.

Leaves are from 1-6 inches, opposite and have serrate margins. Leaf bases are cordate and leaf apexes are acuminate. If you are truly unsure about identification, grab the stem. Then you should know if you have stinging nettle or not.

In addition to the Utitica dioica, I decided some Rumex crispus, or curly dock, would be a good addition to our dinner, considering curly dock is conveniently used to alleviate stinging nettle pains by simply rubbing a leaf on your stinging skin.

Rumex crispus is a perennial from Europe and Western Asia. It begins out as a basal rosette before shooting towards the sky, upwards to about 3-5 feet. Leaves are 6-8 inches, alternate, lanceolate to elliptic, and have curled margins. A good source of vitamin A, iron, potassium and protein, the leaves contain oxalic acid, meaning it is super sour and you should avoid eating huge quantities. Apparently large quantities bind up calcium in the body.

Lucky for me, there is a house not far from mine that has an entire front lawn filled with Rumex crispus. As I approached the curly dock--which was very close to as tall as me--I noticed a man wearing a workout outfit watching me eye his weeds as he headed towards the house.

"Do you live here?" I asked. "No.... but I'm going inside," he replied trying to figure me out. "Well do you think I could pick some of the weeds in the front yard? I'm gonna eat them." The man stared down at me, seemingly waiting for more explanation. Of which there was none. Then finally proceeded, "Yeaa, go ahead...I'm pretty sure my friends aren't going to mind..." He smiled and trotted inside, and I squatted down, harvesting leaves in what seemed to be a curly dock jungle.

Dinnertime. First we blanched the few stinging nettles we had, picking the leaves off the stems afterward. Sad to say, the nettles cooked down to about 3 tablespoons of green mush. We tried some. Alexis thought it tasted earthy, like alfalfa. Liviu discerned keenly, "It is the taste of nothing." I agreed. Sounds a like a great addition to spinach, milk, onions and dill. Voila! Romanian Cream of Spinach Soup With a Pinch of Nothing.

Meanwhile, Alexis was busy rolling fresh pasta. Given we were all Rumex crispus eating virgins, we had no idea what we were dealing with, and so randomly chose a curly dock pasta sauce. Liviu de-midveined the curly dock leaves, and cooked them in a fry pan with olive oil and garlic. Ben tried some raw curly dock and stated bluntly that he thought it was horrible. Onwards. We added a some basil, arugula, and salt. Six of us stood over the concoction, eagerly awaiting a taste..

SOUR. Very sour. It tasted like someone shoved bermuda buttercup (Oxalis pes-caprae) down my throat. Hm....we all brainstormed how we could make it less sour. Alex suggested honey? Alexis suggested more basil and arugula? Ben and Liviu suggested we go with the sour and add lemon? Huh. We somehow decided pesto was the answer. Nuts and cheese: safe. To the pan we added walnuts, then we blended the cooked product with more arugula; it was beginning to look like a true pesto.

About 3 pounds of shredded parmesean later, the pasta was DELICIOUS. Sure, it was a little sour, but with enough cheese and wine, it hit the spot. Actually, I was sort of waiting to see if any of us would get sick given its sourness...but I've heard from everyone today (well except Ben--Ben, you alright?) and we're all still kickin'. So all in all, it was a tasty success. Strangely enough though, I think Ben and Liviu were right about the citrus. Lemon made it.

Nothing like the trust of true friends. As we sat down, I remember Dandelion nervously joking, "So, has anyone researched eating dock??" "Yes, yes," I said through a mouthful.